In 70% of cases the initiator of a divorce is a woman. Why are women more likely to file for divorce? The main reasons women file for divorce.
Good day, everyone! 70% of divorces are initiated by women. For it is a woman who suffers serious limitations after starting the family, and is forced to drastically change her lifestyle. However, besides being ready to break up, she is willing to seek an intervention from a marriage counselor, when it is time to change in order to save the family. Let us figure out why women initiate the divorce.
When women start thinking about divorce
Often these are couples, where a woman faces global changes in her life or is feeling lonely. As a rule, these are women on maternity leave, or families where the husband provides, and a woman is a housewife.
The woman generally accepts her status. She understands the necessity of forced (and prolonged) solitude, but finds it hard to cope with on her own.
Even though her not working was mutually decided, the situation may worsen when her husband starts criticizing her for idleness and a carefree vacation. He also demands that she look top notch and be a walking holiday, and do what not to keep him by her side.
It is already not so easy for the woman to deal with her new circumstances, misunderstanding from her partner might add up. His new role as a conqueror and breadwinner pushes her to comply with his viewpoint.
It is the feeling of misunderstanding from the partner and unwillingness to help, the feeling of growing apart, that becomes the main reasons to file for divorce.
Good relationships are impossible where one partner’s interest is not taken into consideration. Discontent turns into arguments and fights. The husband dives more into work, the wife starts feeling more resentful and doesn’t see how she can fix this.
What happens if you keep silent and abide
It is impossible to solve a psychological problem solo. The happiness of the family is a job for two people who choose to be together.
If a woman continues abiding by her husband more and more often, her discontent will grow over time. There will appear new facts and new events that will hurt her. Now it is unbearable for her to do her best in the everyday life.
You shouldn’t keep silent about the problems either. If you don’t address your discontent, you will blow up in a week. Instead of addressing one thing, you now have a whole speech about past grudges. The longer you keep it inside, the stronger emotions are, and it is harder to control them.
Let’s imagine you have some problem with your husband. You both discuss it and make conclusions. The next day you face another unpleasant situation, it leads to a new discussion, then conclusion and solution. This is an ideal example, but in general everything works like that.
What to do to prevent a divorce
When a woman acts like a victim of circumstances, it affects traumatically not only the woman herself but the whole family. Besides, such a role confirms the husband’s superiority.
Let’s underline key factors that will help a woman feel more comfortable:
- Take an opportunity to interchange each other. You might benefit from a part-time or full-time job. Remember to discuss this with your husband first.
- Get your husband more involved in the housework. Give him little chores he will spend only 30 minutes a week on.
- Start planning things that bring you pleasure and revive your energy. Contact your good friends. Do what you have been putting off for a while. Help each other find time for little pleasures.
In healthy relationships, the partners are equal. They are capable of substituting each other, even if they don’t do it often. This helps erase borders of gender-specific roles: a woman is a housewife, a man is a breadwinner. The wife is able to work to support the family, and the husband can take on responsibility for the children.
Men get involved in a family process more eagerly, if they feel trusted and when they find themselves good at doing some chores. Soon it will start bringing them pleasure. He might not fall in love with doing dishes, but he will enjoy doing something else.
When priorities are set so that one partner lacks autonomy, it’s hard to avoid a conflict. To keep things harmonious in these circumstances, it is important for the partners to remind each other, and continue reminding, that this situation is temporary but necessary for the sake of a better future.