Today I would like to talk about men’s grudges, what to do if your man got offended, and why he is reacting so strongly. Any argument with the right approach, can end the quarrel gracefully and provide a learning experience now as well as for the future. Using a broken strategy may impair your relationship each time you argue.
What is a grudge?
I am 100% sure you can not offend a person. They themselves choose to get offended or not.
A grudge is an emotional reaction to our actions or words. The responsibility however does not solely lie on the offended. It is in your power to not do those actions that may hurt another person. There are two people in a relationship, so both are responsible.
The psychologist’s advice is to watch your words and doings. If you are well aware of what may hurt your partner, avoid doing it. If he repeated multiple times that he didn’t like when you call him “sweet cheeks” for instance and you continue calling him that, be sure sooner or later he is going to blow up. Consider yourself lucky if it is just a grudge.
Sometimes we don’t do things on purpose, but other people still get offended. Perhaps we had no idea the person takes it seriously how much milk they want in their coffee, for example.
In order to avoid such situations, you should discuss things more often. It could be any topic, as long as you are frank and open. To make sure you two understand each other, not otherwise.
A relationship is a work for two. It is in your hands to reach a mutual understanding. Learning more about your partner will help you avoid doing things that are likely to hurt him.
If you reach a mutual understanding, practice mutual respect and trust each other, you will be able to prevent any grudge.
What might be hidden behind the mask of a grudge?
If your loved one doesn’t pick up the phone at a moment’s notice, do not assume he is holding the most dreadful grudge on you. He might have a large workload, problems with colleagues or boss, problems with his car or he might have had an argument with his family.
There might be other reasons other than just you, as to why he is unreachable.
First of all, you should have a simple conversation with him. Ask him if everything is okay at work, what is going on in his family and how his friends are doing. Inquire about his car or bike. Maybe the reason for his cold behavior is a problem with the car, and solving it eats up his whole morning.
If your loved one doesn’t text you as often as he used to, don’t panic. Think it over. One of the reasons may be that he doesn’t see sense in texting as often as when you just started dating. Or he might not have time to keep texting back and forth, while he can make one phone call. Don’t judge him.
It is a bad idea to start an argument without finding the problem first. Do not raise your voice, do not threaten him and don’t try to manipulate him.
Just get to the bottom of what is going on in your loved one’s life. He might need your support like never before, and doesn’t know how to ask for it.
What might hurt your man
Remember, each man is different, he can’t be categorized by types. Each and every one of them has his own rich inner world. The approach for one may be faulty for others. Women are the same way. Can you classify yourself into any one category?
There are millions of scenarios, words and actions that might hurt a man. Both of you can make sense out of what happened in your case.
If a man got offended with a woman, it means she did something not the way he wanted. Maybe you didn’t consult him before buying something expensive. Or he keeps quiet, because you are talking way too fast and way too much, and probably gibberish.
If your partner left home without saying a word, first thing first, think about why this happened. Avoid yelling anything hurtful to his back. If you don’t want it to escalate, think over your actions and words. Try to mentally replay your last conversation. Question yourself what you could possibly have done or said to hurt your loved one.
Besides, don’t forget about your circle. Your man might get hurt not only by your words and actions. Discussing your man with a friend or a colleague, especially if he overhears it, may backfire.
Your relationship should be your own business, not others’. Let your friends know you won’t discuss any of your intimate details, etc. Don’t volunteer details either.
Making an apology
First of all, if your boyfriend is hurt and you know the reason, then you should apologize for what you did wrong, and explain why you did what you did. Ask and hear him out: what exactly hurt him.
When a man is severely offended and has been ignoring you for days, then just apologizing is not enough. You need to seriously rethink your pattern to identify a flaw. Then you need to gain his attention to have a quiet conversation where you can discuss unresolved matters.
Remember that an honest quiet conversation works miracles. Yelling and arguing cause more fights and resentment. If you’re ready to hear out your man, and if he is open to speak honestly, and if you love and respect each other, then you can solve any problem.
If your loved one seems constantly offended with or without any reason, you need to acknowledge it is not all you. He might be trying to convey something else. Or it’s his character and he might not know better.
Never forget that happiness is always within you. You are the happiness itself. Your partner is your helper in building love and harmony. Value every moment you spend together. Do not be afraid to talk to each other.
I believe that you start making the right decisions to overcome any difficult situation together.
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